CLIENT REQUIREMENTS

If you want to work with me, that means you are:

Curious: You are thoughtful. You have questions about yourself, your life path, and the world around you. You are not turned on by superficial, surface-level conversation; you like to go deeper.

Conscious: You are self-aware. You see yourself as a constant, ever-evolving work in progress. You enjoy thinking and talking about ideas and various ways of being. You might describe yourself as “spiritual” or simply “open”.

Creative: You like to engage with the world around you. You believe life is an interactive, participatory experience. You see yourself as being of value and having a unique purpose.

Committed: You are a woman or man of your word. When you commit to something, you see it through.

Apply now; let’s start the process!

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 Sometimes when I'm caught in the human trap of future-prediction and anxious thinking I pause and imagine THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME.  • Then I recognize that even if the worst thing ever happened, I would still be okay. The sun would manage to rise. My heart would keep beating. And I'd pick up the necessary pieces and move along, and fit things back together in whatever way I could. These simple truths offer some sweet relief in moments of worry. • The only reason I can identify these simple truths is because I have fucked things up quite royally before. I have made really dumb mistakes. Knowingly walked into painful fires. Gone against my instincts and forced situations and circumstances I shouldn't have. And I survived that stuff. And life actually got better as a result. So the fuck-age up-age isn't nearly as scary as it used to be. • Don't fear "failure" or the "worst case scenario" because you are stronger and smarter than to allow circumstances to bring you permanently to your knees. You will survive and be okay. You can choose that for yourself, over and over again. And just like the sun, you'll manage to rise again. ☀️ #fearnot #trust #faith #learn #shinebright  You will not be this version of you for always, so try to make peace with what you can. It's so easy to point out what isn't working in our lives and in ourselves, but it's hard to remember that it's just this way for now. And the more you can have patience with yourself, the faster you'll find relief. Having some compassion (even a sliver!) for the parts of you that feel stuck or resistant to change will help then come around. Cause they will. Have faith, boo. #alwayschanging #everevolving #peoplearenotfinishedproducts  As a former MONSTER procrastinator, sometimes I still have to remind myself of this delightful fact. Good reminder the Sunday night before tax week... BIG YAY TO ANOTHER WEEK ROLLIN' OUT! Another chance to kick some new ass and take a few more names. Git 'er dun. I promise it feels better than avoidance. Proooomise. •ps• I unpack this #lifemantra a bit more in my story too. Watch if you get stuck in the grip of procrastination. (Cause don't we all sometimes?? Yowza.) Xx  I've had a lot of people ask me lately why I'm so big on clarifying standards, boundaries, and preferences when it comes to meeting dudes and finding that good good lovin'. 🤔 Should we really be out there dating with such specific hopes of what we'll find? Isn't it awfully unromantic, and even risky, to have a set list of guidelines for what we're looking for?? ⠀ In my opinion (and experience) it's a helluva lot riskier to be seriously dating WITHOUT clear knowledge and understanding of what you're looking for. If you don't know what you want, or what's okay with you & not okay with you relationship and partner-wise, you'll be willing to settle for much less. Simply because it's there, and it's good enough, and it's better than nothing. (HINT: It eventually won't be.)⠀ I liken having high standards and specific preferences to someone who sets a very high bar for the quality of food they consume. If you clearly commit to an organic, whole food, clean 'n green kinda lifestyle, you're not going to make pit stops at McDonald's on the way home. Because you know it won't satisfy or make you feel good. It will rot your insides and won't agree with you. And you know you want fueling, fulfilling, feel-good yummies that energize and sustain you. That's what super high quality living (and loving!!) is all about, right?⠀ Too many people are willing to participate in the romantic equivalent of pit-stop-McDonald's (i.e. it's here, it's good enough, it's better than nothing), simply because they haven't committed to clarifying or raising their standards. And when they're left feeling dissatisfied, still hungry, and painfully out of sync, THEY WONDER WHY. Welllll, cause ya gotta know what works for you and just ooown it. And until you do? You'll likely be willing to survive, but not thrive, on a lot less. ⠀ ps. This post feels a tad harder and harsher than I intended, so just know I think you're awesome and love you boatloads. Also a little McFlurry every now and again never hurt nobody...❤️  Oh dear. So true. So impossible to resist. COMPLICATED THINGS.⠀ For a thoughtful, sensitive, sometimes anxious mind, "complicated" is like crack. So much to unpack and unravel. So many details to consider! Endless potential outcomes...it's like really juicy, flavor-bursting gum for your sweet, smart, chewy brain. ⠀ Unfortunately, ultimately, usually...the chewing leads to suffering. The COMPLICATED-ness proves to be untangle-able. Which is so hard to accept and so painful to let go of. Because we invested time and energy. We felt feelings. Real ones. We let ourselves get caught up in the joyous possibilities of what could be instead of sitting with and fully recognizing the overtly complicated reality. ⠀ If something is already complicated before it's even gotten going, I invite you to consider what is so damn appealing about it. Because love CAN be easy. It CAN be simple. It can not be a struggle or a source of stress. In the best of circumstances, it actually will be those things. But if we keep getting attracted to (and saying YES to) Captain Complicated, we evade ease and simplicity. And that might be a sign that it's time to let it go, sister. Oof, I know. ❤️  It is so beyond okay to not know. It's a given, actually. And when we allow ourselves to take some gentle time in that space of "not knowing", and to calmly sit in uncertainty, and slowly suss things out for ourselves, we tend to do much better. We also feel much better. We learn to let situations resolve themselves, and do not force things that should not be. So be patient. Go easy. You're still figuring it out. We all are. 🤗 •ps• The new #mantramonday episode is LIVE right meow! So excited to be kickstarting the series again; make sure to click the link in my bio to watch.  Think about it - if a swell of discomfort, negativity, or shitty feelings arise when you witness a lovey couple posing for a selfie together, or your friends find love before your do, or you see 2 cute humans kissing goodbye on their morning commute...if you CAN'T STAND THEM, if you wish they would get over each other and GET A ROOM ALREADY, if you find them annoying...why would you want, or allow yourself, to become them? I'll put this in another context, to clarify. For a long time I carried heavy judgment and negatively towards wealthy people. I labeled them greedy, shallow, selfish, whatever. So when it came to expanding my income and wanting to make more money, I bumped up against allllll kinds of mental and emotional trouble spots. Cause why would I want to become something (financially comfortable or even abundant) if that equated to me being all those negative things I loathe (shallow, selfish, shitty). I had an UPPER LIMIT PROBLEM. I was unconsciously sabotaging my own income. If more money meant being a bad person, I couldn't make more money cause then I WOULD BE A BAD PERSON. Wickity-wack! Right?? Many people have an UPPER LIMIT LOVE PROBLEM. They throw shade at happily married couples and convince themselves those two can't possibly be that happy. They look at pics of engagement announcements online and roll their eyes in inward protest. They hate seeing PDA's, because uggggh just stoppppppp. But if you WANT IT, you need to CELEBRATE IT. You need to feel at peace with it, at minimum. This is where coaching work is so powerful, because it's really hard to spot these unconscious "upper limiting" beliefs on your own, but trust me - IT IS WORTH IT. Cause when you start acknowledging and dissolving that stuff? You feel a lot more open, appreciative, and in alignment with what you actually do want. Which is love, yo. So get up to speed with yourself! ❤️  If you think you can receive romantic love, experience romantic love, and offer romantic love, without having to take some risks...ohh child. You dreamin'. Which is ADORBS. Love REQUIRES leaps! And taking risks and chances. And duh, that is hella nerve-racking because we are smart, and this ain't our first rodeo, and we know we might get very hurt, and we can totally hurt others. And realistically, we will probably BOTH. But please remember that the greatest risk in life is no risk at all. Remaining in your bubble, playing it safe and small and not saying YES to people, experiences, feelings, opportunities, oh sweetness. What kind of life is that? Taking little leaps in the direction of love, intimacy, and increased visibility (and vulnerability) is where allllll the good stuff happens. And when we mentally and emotionally sack up to that fact, and stop pretending that spending 24/7 in our "comfort zones" is in any way comfortable, love is more likely to find a way in. And love wants in. She wants ALL IN. She wants you to say YES to yourself, and to life, and to opportunity, a lot more. She wants you to honor your nature and your desires and show up and be bold and unapologetic and (as best you can) unafraid. She knows the reward is worth the risk. Do you? START KNOWING IT! #letlovein #taketherisk #getoutyourway  We're trained to dumb down and tune out and do as we're told. All of us. From a really young age. And it takes a lot of effort and trust and powerful intent to tune back in and learn to follow your enthusiasm. To perk up and take note when you catch yourself getting excited about something, or feeling even slightly inspired, or a hair more motivated. To pursue the things that stir your soul and jazz you up a little bit. Society wants you get to get sleepy. Life wants you to stay awake. So she'll show you things and art and music to make you feel stuff. And she'll bring you people and events and experiences that act as personal alarm clocks that blare HEY, SNAP OUT OF IT, GET EXCITED, YOU'RE ALIVE. And despite what you've been told and trained to do, you really shouldn't hit snooze on that stuff. You really shouldn't act like sleepy is satisfying. Because it's not. Take 2 minutes today to write down 10 things that make you feel a little more awake/enthusiastic/curious/excited. 10 things. Any things. And claim them. These things are not frivolous. They are not illegitimate, or a waste of time. These things are life force. They're like sunlight and oxygen and Red Bull for your being. They're fucking essential. Answer their call. Claim them. And DRINK. UP. #chugalug #payattention #wakeup #yes  Arguably the biggest shift one can make relationship-wise is to stop seeing heartache or heartbreak as pure loss. Does it hurt? Of course. Do we hate it? Typically. Can it still be profoundly helpful? HELL YES. You will be forced to root into new stories and beliefs about yourself. You'll have to revise your priorities and chart a new course. You'll need to face and be with yourself (something many of us use relationships to avoid) in a deeply intimate, uncomfortable, but important new way. My biggest breakthroughs and major life changes have always come on the other side of being absolutely railroaded and screwed in some capacity. I didn't ask for the hurt, but I got heaps of it. And while gratitude and learning might be a lot to reach for right away, eventually seeing how that loss or pain paved the way for new greatness is fucking magical. I don't know how else to describe it. It's up to you. You get to choose. All bad? Or is something potentially positive going to come out of the wreckage? Choose the latter. It usually feels better. Just sayin'. #nomudnolotus #youknowthis #yes   Waaaaay too real/inappropriate/ridiculous to not share.  Shout out to anyone else who has a pretty INTENSE relationship with their emotional side...just know you're in good company! #allthefeels  I've always had a flare for the over-dramatic. In relationships of yester-year I used to pick fights, stir up unnecessary drama, find little ways to pick and poke and prod my partner to get a reaction. It was UGLY. And UNFAIR. And I was totally blind to it. Then a really wonderful guy called me on it. A lot. And told me he loved me but wasn't willing to put up with my BS if I wasn't willing to work on it. So I got into therapy ( for good therapy) and started reeeeeally looking at myself. Noticing my habits, my patterns, my cues, examining why I liked being a bitch sometimes to the people I love the most. Taking ownership instead of passing the buck, or letting it continue to play out. That relationship ultimately ended but it was MASSIVELY healing for me. It forced me to look at the most confused, backwards, ugly parts of myself and rewire that shit. Now I cant believe there were moments where I would purposefully push another's buttons just to get a rise out of him and maybe guarantee some extra (albeit unhealthy) attention. I used to get embarrassed about those habits, but now I feel like a boss for working through it and saying YES to awareness and growth. Because noticing what you're doing that's getting in the way of the life you want, and the things you want, and the person you want to be, is HARD but SO IMPORTANT. And relationships are one area that will really shine a flashlight on all of your flaws and insecurities, so don't ignore what comes up for you. If you catch yourself (or you're lucky enough to have someone else lovingly catch you) playing into bad habits, get curious. Don't condemn yourself, or continue the cycle. But notice. And start working on it, either on your own or with a trusted professional. This is how change happens. This is how good stuff gets going. And old, stupid, tired BS gets kicked to the curb. I promise you--it's worth it.  TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH . Happy Friday, you lovely weirdos.

3 Simple Practices for Honing, Owning, and Cultivating White-Hot Resilience

3 Simple Practices for Honing, Owning, and Cultivating White-Hot Resilience

Latest video on resilience, and why it’s a big old key to taking more risks in life–romantically and otherwise. Not necessary viewing per sé, but click the link and watch anyway!

Like most things we “should” work on within ourselves (y’know, the usual well-intended stuff like self-love, finding your passion, and the ability to stop hitting “snooze” eventually…), experts are quick to share the benefits of these inner gifts, but often aren’t great at sharing the nitty-gritty, practical, day-to-day “how-to” details.

I AIN’T THAT KIND OF EXPERT.

Mostly ’cause I’m not an expert at all, I just know what’s worked for me and dozens of clients I’ve worked with who crave more adventure, reward, and overall sense of badassery in their daily lives. We’re talkin’ MEGA, capital-R, Resilience! YEEHAW!!

Here are three simple practices for increasing how truly capable, courageous, and “CAN’T TOUCH THIS” you are.

1) MAKE A LIST OF EVERYTHING YOU HAVE SURVIVED. YES–ORTHODONTIC HEAD GEAR ABSOLUTELY COUNTS.

Y’all, this journey through life can be describe in many ways. And one of them is HARD.

We have all known pain and hurt, we have all experienced sorrow, doubt, confusion, and perhaps even existential dread.

And we have all surviiiiiived.

Take note (like with actual pen & paper) of everything you have already overcome in your time on planet earth, and start giving yourself the much over-due credit. Here’s some fun examples:

  1. Being born! Coming out of a vagina is scary, y’all!
  2. High school! Seriously horrific stuff!
  3. Your first yoga class! Who knew downward dog could be THAT hard?!
  4. Your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend and her cute bubble-butt friends bumping into you at the gym when you looked insanely haggard and sweaty!
  5. Your ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend showing up at that party unexpectedly and you having to act super cool even though you wanted to cry ‘n die on the inside!

Instead of being ashamed of the tough shit you’ve had to face and fumble through, how about patting yourself on the back for all the ways in which you continued to venture forth, even when everything completely sucked?

If you can begin to feel empowered through hard times, you’ll begin to look forward to hard times, knowing that no matter what you’re completely safe, secure, and can get through anything. Taking stock of your own survival skills is a fabulous way to turbo-charge resilience.

2) BOTTLE IT UP, BABY.

Looking for “Evidence of Resilience” in your daily life is an awesome, ongoing way to feel like a brave, strong, soul who will always land on her feet.

Find an empty vessel (a recycled tissue box, mason jar, or special keepsake container) and each day take a few moments to recall any tough or painful moments that you managed to wiggle your way through. Write it down on a post-it or strip of paper, and drop it in the box.

Stuff like, “Woke up in a funk, managed to take a shower and get to work on time,” is a WIN. So is “Family decision to put down our cat,” as well as, “Insanely stressful meeting with Carole from HR.”

Most folks who don’t see themselves as inherently resilient are very strong, resourceful, creative, and high-functioning. The issue is that they don’t actually notice how strong, resource, creative, and high-functioning they are.

This exercise is designed to clue you into how many small (or huge) struggles you might be facing on a daily basis, and how you manage to navigate them with a steadfast heart, or at least a willingness to put one damn foot in front of the other.

Let your vessel for daily wins serve as a physical reminder of your own ever-present resilience. When you feel weak or risk-averse, glance over and remember WHAT A BOSS YOU ACTUALLY ARE.

3. LOOK FOR THE LEARNING AND DRINK YOUR LEMONADE.

How skilled are you at taking life’s sourest lemons and turning them into beautiful, delectable, resilience-fueled LEMONAAADE?

Do you tend to sit in your pile of lemons and proclaim, “Woe is me!”?  Or do you find ways to sweeten that shit by learning, growing, and even offering gratitude for that which has pained you, but has also made you strong as a mothereffin ox, sweetheart.

Highly resilient individuals manage to find silver linings and golden nuggets of wisdom in ALL of their experiences. Even the really shitty, awful, sucky stuff.

When you can readily convert your pain into a platform for learning, pain becomes a veritable blessing.

And of course, yes, duh–I know that life-lemons and pain suck, and it’s hard to legitimately feel like it’s ever a good thing when you’re fucking going through it, but I’m just saying that pain is a GIVEN so we gotta find a way to work with it.

And looking for the learning, treating your trials and tribulations like gifts, figuring out how getting stood up on prom night has actually helped you be amazing and awesome, is a wonderful way to work through pain and begin viewing yourself as endlessly rad and resilient AF.

You, my buttercup babe, are a veritable rock star! Can you start owning that? Can you increase your overall sense of resilience? Can you dedicate some time and effort to noticing how much you slay, instead of how much you suck?

PRETTY PLEASE MAKE ALL OF THIS A PRIORITY. Find ways to take stock of your own survival, begin to notice your everyday triumphs, and always reach for the lemonade of learning. This is how you grow. This is how you help yourself through hard times. This is how you begin to see that big scary goal you want to accomplish as not so big and scary at all…

Because you and I both know that you’ve seen, felt, and experienced some shitty shit. And you made it. You continue to make it. You’re ever-evolving and always onto the next thing, continue to live and breathe and learn and figure all of this out, even when you feel like throwing the towel in. The towel need not be thrown, unless it’s back in the ring for the next round.

You got this, you’ve always had this–that’s the truth. Start seeing it that way.

2 Comments
  • Mia Asante
    Posted at 20:49h, 06 February Reply

    Amy, you are amazing, very important topic !! <3

  • Cortney
    Posted at 02:00h, 10 February Reply

    Holy balls, did I need this!!! You always seem to come through in the clutch, love. Thank you for that! Xo

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