CLIENT REQUIREMENTS

If you want to work with me, that means you are:

Curious: You are thoughtful. You have questions about yourself, your life path, and the world around you. You are not turned on by superficial, surface-level conversation; you like to go deeper.

Conscious: You are self-aware. You see yourself as a constant, ever-evolving work in progress. You enjoy thinking and talking about ideas and various ways of being. You might describe yourself as “spiritual” or simply “open”.

Creative: You like to engage with the world around you. You believe life is an interactive, participatory experience. You see yourself as being of value and having a unique purpose.

Committed: You are a woman or man of your word. When you commit to something, you see it through.

Apply now; let’s start the process!

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 ☝ Independent woman memes got me like 🤣. AT THE SAME TIME...THEY WORRY ME LADIES... Here's why! ::⠀ First let's get this outta the way: Is investing in self-love important? Yes. Is honoring your independence and self-sufficiency powerful? Fuck yeah. Is it a wise choice to choose yourself and learn how to take care of yourself instead of relying on someone else to do everything for you? You bet! But can we have TOO MUCH OF THIS INDEPENDENT SELF-SUFFICIENT WARRIOR PRINCESS FUCK ALL Y'ALL VIBES?  Yuppers. Truth be told, we can have too much of anything.⠀ ::⠀ Cause independence is great but so is intimacy and connection. Self-love is wonderful but so is loving (and being loved by) others.  Self-sufficiency is strong AF, but relying on people you trust who get you is like, exceptionally magical-joyous.  We need each other, y'all. And we need men! Men are so fun. The good ones are fucking great. We love them, don't we? We want them, right??⠀ ::⠀ They smell different and act different and are fun to look at in the morning. They have scruffy faces and taking showers with them can be a blast  and sometimes you wanna ask him to open the pickle jar even though you can, cause hell--it's fun to have someone do it for you now and again. 🤷‍♀️ Men are my jam. And my jelly. And if I convince myself I DON'T NEED THEM and I JUST NEED ME and THEY'RE OVERRATED then, well, I'm lying to myself.⠀ :: ⠀ And lying to ourselves never works. Investing in our independence without watering the garden of connectedness and interdependence is kinda sad. Convincing yourself you can do everything by yourself, for yourself, all the time, is usually not where the maximum level of YAY is. It might be where the safety is, or the warrior princess vibes are, but I don't know a warrior princess alive who doesn't wanna get spooned by a fucking viking every now and again.⚡️⚡️ ::⠀ I'm speaking in images and metaphors and cracking jokes but we get this, right? We know we can honor ourselves AND be open to others? Take care of ourselves AND allow them to care for us? We can have our independent woman cake and eat the right guy, too?  I hope so. Cause that's a fabulous, tasty time. Yum.   Believe in ease. Trust ease. Get used to ease. Choose ease. Align with people, places, and things, that feel easy. ⚡️ Get cozy with ease. Get comfy with ease. Make ease and chill and mellow your full-time jobs and whole-hearted pursuits. Cause ease is where it's at. So consider: Can you let it be eeeasy?   This one's for the people-pleasers in the house.  What up squad?! I SEE YOU. I FEEL YOU. I AM A RECOVERING ONE OF YOU.  ::⠀ Why is it so fucking hard to say no sometimes? Well, cause you're a good person you sweetest of hearts. Because you don't want to disappoint people or let anyone down. Because you're afraid if you say no it means people will run away and think terrible things about you or even worse, SAY terrible things about you, and other will agree.  Because you have this idea that your good-ness, your worthiness, your approval and acceptance, is based on how much you can please and accommodate everyone. But it's not.⠀ ::⠀ The biggest, meatiest lesson in learning to say no is recognizing that just because you say NO, that doesn't make you BAD. ❌❌❌ It doesn't make you selfish, or cruel, or unkind. Learning when and how to unapologetically share your NO just makes you wise, mature, and sane. ⠀ ::⠀ Now because this is planet earth, and we are (fortunately but also unfortunately) dealing with other humans, we have to acknowledge that we might disappoint people with our no's. We might let someone down. Or piss someone off. And they might think/say not nice things about us. And yup--that's about THEM. Your job is to protect your peace of mind and align with what is good and right for you in each moment. And sometimes saying no will be part of that. :: So own your no. Share your no. Shine a light with your no so others can also learn it's actually okay to be like "NOPE CAN'T," like a loving but unapologetic boss when need be!  :: Pause and think about your week coming up -- is there anything you're dying to say "no" to?? 🤔 What is it? And what will it take to utter that simple but powerful 2-letter declaration?? Tell me in the comments!   You're not a MESS. You're a S'MOOORE!!!  Time to get down with your ooey-gooey-goodness, gorgeous. YUM.❤️ • • • • • #InstagramQuotes #QuoteOfTheDay #WordsOfWisdom #CreativeWriting #GirlsWhoWrite #RelationshipGuru #ExploreToCreate #WorldCaptures #LoveLife #RelationshipTips #FreedomThinkers #TravelGirl #CityGram #StayAndWonder #IGGlobalWomensClub #VisualsOfLife #FeatureMeInstaGood #ShareMyStyle #DatingAdvice #HealthyFriendships  ☝Words from my latest blog post on ONE HUGE HARD REALIZATION I've had over the course of existence as a big-time Lover of Love!! ❤️❤️ Take heed: Scraps are not enough, and hot stoves don't make for good boyfriends...🤔 :: If you sometimes fear that you are just wired wrong, or that you missed a very important romance-related memo, or that you can't seem to get this whole "relationship thing" down right to save your life, I wrote this one for you.  And for me too, like a decade ago. Cause she was so sweet and good and lovely but so fucking confused. Thank the Lordy above for all the lessons and the people who shine a light and lead the way. ⚡️ :: Link is in my bio; go read!  • • • • • #InstagramQuotes #QuoteOfTheDay #WordsOfWisdom #CreativeWriting #GirlsWhoWrite #RelationshipGuru #ExploreToCreate #WorldCaptures #LoveLife #RelationshipTips #FreedomThinkers #TravelGirl #CityGram #StayAndWonder #IGGlobalWomensClub #VisualsOfLife #FeatureMeInstaGood #ShareMyStyle #DatingAdvice #HealthyFriendships  Oof. But lonely is when we most want the love, right?  Here's my take on it...⠀ ::⠀ Loving when you're ready ("ready" = fulfilled, liking yourself, feeling good and okay with who/where you are more often than not) is actually for YOUR benefit. If you're feeling sad, lonely, or desperate, you will not make good dating decisions, you will not choose the best possible people or situations for you, and you will not be prepared for the messy, bumpy process of dating, which can include frequent rejection, disappointment, hurt feelings, and misunderstanding. Honoring your personal fulfillment FIRST, will help you in ALL of these areas. ⠀ ::⠀ Looking for love when you're lonely might put a nice band-aid on whatever current misery plagues you, but in the long-term it won't fix those funky feelings or solve your problems. How annoying, I know. 🤦‍♀️ Cause if the whole prince charming/happily-ever-after thing WAS a viable option for solving loneliness or bigger problems, I would've ridden off into like 5 sunsets by now, never to be heard from again. ✌🤣 ::⠀ So in short, do your work. Hire a coach. Work with a therapist. Get curious about what isn't working in your life, and focus on helping yourself through it. Get honest about what it's going to take to feel REALLY AWESOME about yourself and your future, and direct all your energy towards that. Because I can promise you, nothing will attract the right kind of love into your life like choosing yourself, loving your life, and feeling good with with where you are and where you're going. You'll date smarter, bounce back faster, and love better, in the long run.⠀ ::⠀ ps. I saved these words from my sister from another mister, @radicalselflove awhile ago. She KNOWS HER SHIT and is also funny and beautiful and has the best laugh. You'll just love her. I definitely do. xo⠀ • • • • • #InstagramQuotes #QuoteOfTheDay #WordsOfWisdom #CreativeWriting #GirlsWhoWrite #RelationshipGuru #ExploreToCreate #WorldCaptures #LoveLife #RelationshipTips #FreedomThinkers #TravelGirl #CityGram #StayAndWonder #IGGlobalWomensClub #VisualsOfLife #ShareMyStyle #DatingAdvice #HealthyFriendshi  🤣 I can't 🤣 it's just 🤣 too good.  Happy (pants-optional!) Sunday, y'all. • • • • • #Coaching #Mindfulness #LifeCoach #PersonalDevelopment #LoveTheLifeYouLive #WellnessCoach #SelfDevelopment #PositiveMindset #BusinessCoach #VibrateHigher #OnlineCreator #BusinessCoach #WomenSupportingWomen #PersonalDevelopmentCoach #HappinessCoach #WellbeingCoach #TheGirlGang #MakersGonnaMake #FemaleEntrepreneur #MyCreativeBiz #RelationshipCoach #LoveCoach #MotivationalQuote #PursuePretty #FindItLiveIt  PARADIGM SHIFT, y'all!  Please embrace this belief system with the following clarification... :: When you ask THE RIGHT PERSON for what you need, he will absolutely appreciate it, and see it as sexy. The problem is that you really won't know what you're working with until you ask. GULP, I know. ⠀ :: You won't know if he's a, "Wow I appreciate and am even turned on by your openness and directness," kinda guy or a, "Wow I can't believe you would ask me for anything, can't help you sorry," type of guy. The second type of guy? IS NOT YOUR GUY. ❌❌❌ Trust me on this.⠀ :: So please practice (and get comfortable with!) making clear, uncomplicated requests. "Right now I would love it if you would just hear me out, and not try to fix anything." Or maybe, "I need you to tell me how you feel about me more often because I know it, but I still need to hear it. Can you help me with that?" Or perhaps, "I absolutely love when you ask how my mom's treatment is going; it shows me how much you care. Can you check in with me on that more regularly?"⠀ :: Your needs are your needs are your needs, and with the right person, they will never be a burden.  I often remind clients that the goal of dating is not to secure a relationship, but to see someone for who they truly are, and what kind of partner they will be. Asking for help, sharing your needs, and making fair requests are really fantastic ways to uncover what a relationship with a person is going to be like. If you're met with a lot of resistance, hedging, or defensiveness, that's just not a great sign. ⠀ :: Don't be scared to voice those vulnerable, quaking-in-your-boots kind of wants and needs! YOU HAVE NEEDS AND IT'S CAUSE YOU'RE A HUMAN AND THAT'S ACTUALLY SUPER HOT, OKAY?!  • • • • • #Coaching #Mindfulness #LifeCoach #PersonalDevelopment #LoveTheLifeYouLive #WellnessCoach #SelfDevelopment #PositiveMindset #BusinessCoach #VibrateHigher #OnlineCreator #BusinessCoach #WomenSupportingWomen #PersonalDevelopmentCoach #HappinessCoach #WellbeingCoach #TheGirlGang #MakersGonnaMake #FemaleEntrepreneur #MyCreativeBiz #RelationshipCoach #LoveCoach #MotivationalQuote #PursuePretty #FindItLiveIt  A few weeks ago I left a meeting with a pit in my stomach. 🤦‍♀️ Something felt off and uncomfortable, and it was giving me pause about moving forward with a project. Was I just afraid? Anxious? Misinterpreting things? QUESTIONS ABOUNDED. LET'S JUST GO GET MCFLURRIES. :: But I stopped. I sat in my car and silently asked my gut/heart/intuition/whatever-ya-wanna-call it WTF to do next. I paused. Immediate internal response? "Let it go, this isn't right for you." ✨ Conflict/mixed feelings, followed by a simple 5-second check-in, and BOOM. Clarity. Simplicity. Info. Guidance. Awesome.  :: So if it's that damn easy to know what's right for us sometimes, why the hell do we struggle with it so much? The issues I most often see are that we (a) just don't think to ask ourselves, (b) don't trust the answers that arise, or (c) straight-up ignore the answer because it's not what we want to hear.  Yeaaah I know we've all been there! :: In which case we just stay on the familiar path, and make default choices out of habit or ignorance, and let ourselves get swept up in stuff that will (in time) probably produce more stress, more anxiety, more fear, more discomfort, until it's too late to ignore. But by then it'll be a lot harder to navigate our way out of it.⠀ :: So just remember, sometimes all it takes is a simple moment of checking in with yourself and asking, "Do I want to do this?" or "What makes sense as the next step?" and then NOT SHUTTING DOWN. It's a practice in making yourself available, to yourself. You get to be your own board of directors. Because you have loads of emotional and intuitive guidance at your internal fingertips, and it's time to start using it. Cause when ya don't use it, ya kinda lose it. Or just forget it's even there. So listen in and take your hands off your ears, monkey.   Ladies, don't settle for anything less than a pair of baseball mitt-sized paws to handle that EPIC crown of yours. Ya hear?! 🤣 ::⠀ My friend @rachelkalman and I were talking last week about how easy it's been for us to "shrink" in some of our past relationships. To make ourselves small, to deny our big truths, to forego our inner knowing or personal power as a sacrifice to the relationship. So things could roll along, stay at status quo, and we didn't ruffle any big precious man feathers.  Unfortunately I don't know a smart, strong, fiery woman alive who hasn't committed to some version of shrinkage to fit into some guy's world. And it kinda sucks. ⠀ ::⠀ I love this quote because it highlights the reality of most of those relationships. We were never too much, he just couldn't hold it all. And that's not his fault or our fault, it's just who we both were, and the only way we knew how to be at the time. The good news is that we get to move forward with that awareness and decide NO MORE SHRINKING. No more lying to yourself about what you need, how you feel, or what you know. No more pretending for anyone else's sake that you are any less magnificent and powerful than you are. Oh. Fuck. No. We're done with that. All of us. Agreed?⠀ ::⠀ There are big-hearted, big-handed  men who won't be intimidated by your greatness, won't take it for granted, and won't feel threatened. They'll be proud. Excited. Honored. Humbled. Thrilled. Beside themselves that they get to love and honor and cherish you. And vice versa. Doesn't that sound frickin rad, ladies? Yes. So choose. more. that. #bigcrown #bighands #orbust  • • • • • #ChooseHappiness #AttitudeOfGratitude #ParadigmShift #PowerOfPositivity #LiveToTheFullest #PositivePsychology #CreateYourOwnHappiness #WellnessCoaches #MindsetCoach #MindsetShift #WellnessCoaching #OnTheBlog #WomenInBusiness #CommunityOverCompetition #CreativeEntrepreneur #WorkLifeBalance #HandsAndHustle #WomenInBiz #RelationshipAdvice #SavvyBusinessOwner #CalledToCreate #WomenOwnedBusiness #DontQuitYourDayDream #InspirationalQuote #relationshipgoals  I say some version of this A LOT in my coaching work and it typically elicits some wide eyed, "Wait--really?!" responses.  :: No one owes me anything? People can treat me poorly? Someone can love me and then betray me? Commit to me and later change their mind? Say they had a great time on our third date and then disappear, never to be heard from again?? That's ALLOWED?⠀ :: Honest, adult, hold-onto-your-hats answer: YES. I know--wt actual fuck. Now that doesn't mean we have to ENJOY any of the above, or in cases where we do have a choice, tolerate it. It just means we need to come to terms with this reality: You will never, ever, ever have ultimate control and sovereign ownership over how others receive you and treat you. Evah evah. And we exhaust ourselves in our attempts to make this not-so. We focus on the wrong person, the unhappy relationship, we unpack/rehash/condemn/make them wrong for years and years and years, existing solely in a space of victimhood and resentment, and never tend to the real issue at hand.⠀ :: Which is that YOUR OPINION AND TREATMENT OF YOURSELF WILL ALWAYS REIGN SUPREME. And when you stop the complaining and blaming and condemning of others, and just tend to appreciating and respecting your fine-ass self, you get to 1) stop caring what anyone else thinks of you, 2) stop letting past experiences dictate your present feelings, 3) let go of relationships that aren't serving you, 4) feel lighter, happier, freer, stronger, and more solid ALL AT THE SAME TIME.  :: Don't waste anymore time trying to make someone see your side when they have no interest. Stop making a case for your suffering. Stand up and decide that you get to take care of you, and sometimes that's all you can do. I promise it's better than the alternative.  • • • #InstagramQuotes #QuoteOfTheDay #WordsOfWisdom #CreativeWriting #GirlsWhoWrite #RelationshipGuru #ExploreToCreate #WorldCaptures #LoveLife #RelationshipTips #FreedomThinkers #TravelGirl #CityGram #StayAndWonder #IGGlobalWomensClub #VisualsOfLife #FeatureMeInstaGood #ShareMyStyle #DatingAdvice #HealthyFriendships  THIS. YES. THIS FOREVER.  When you finally start shining your unique light very brightly, very unapologetically, all the right ships starting lining up at your sweet dock. Make way, babes. ⛴ • • • #Coaching #Mindfulness #LifeCoach #PersonalDevelopment #LoveTheLifeYouLive #WellnessCoach #SelfDevelopment #PositiveMindset #BusinessCoach #VibrateHigher #OnlineCreator #BusinessCoach #WomenSupportingWomen #PersonalDevelopmentCoach #HappinessCoach #WellbeingCoach #TheGirlGang #MakersGonnaMake #FemaleEntrepreneur #MyCreativeBiz #RelationshipCoach #LoveCoach #MotivationalQuote #PursuePretty #FindItLiveIt  A funny thing happens when we're out there in the dating jungle, and we're hungry, and we're tired, and we're lonely, and feeling a little lost...we sometimes forget what we KNOW, in favor of what (or who) is in front of us. Cause when you're hungry/lonely/lost, everyone starts to look sorta delicious. :: Maybe you know that you have a tendency to go for the unavailable guy, or the emotionally shut down dude, and it usually leads to heartache. Maybe you know that you have a bad habit of trying to fix people, or save people, and it just doesn't work out in the long run. Maybe you know you need a kind, thoughtful, reeeally good listener, but dammit--those self-absorbed, cocky fellas just GETCHA EVERY TIME! :: Please, please, please: Do not forget what you know. Do not let your patterns or persuasions get the best of you, and keep you straying off the path of what know you want, or what you know you need. ⠀ :: And if you DON'T know? Simply start discovering and deciding. Look at past relationship experiences and identify what didn't work. Work with a coach, or a therapist, and get clear on what you want, and what you know works or doesn't work for you relationship-wise. Start declaring what you know to yourself, and to others. "I can't get involved with someone who is unavailable--emotionally, geographically, or otherwise. I can't. I know this." :: The more honest you are with yourself (and others) about your own self-knowledge, the easier it is to avoid the same unhappy patterns or sad relationship cycles. So do not forget it. Write it down. Do whatever it takes to remind yourself! Just remember what you know. • • • #ChooseHappiness #AttitudeOfGratitude #ParadigmShift #PowerOfPositivity #LiveToTheFullest #PositivePsychology #CreateYourOwnHappiness #WellnessCoaches #MindsetCoach #MindsetShift #WellnessCoaching #OnTheBlog #WomenInBusiness #CommunityOverCompetition #CreativeEntrepreneur #WorkLifeBalance #HandsAndHustle #WomenInBiz #RelationshipAdvice #SavvyBusinessOwner #CalledToCreate #WomenOwnedBusiness #DontQuitYourDayDream #InspirationalQuote #relationshipgoals

What to Do About That Horrible Voice in Your Head Telling You that You Suck Sometimes (or All the Time!)

What to Do About That Horrible Voice in Your Head Telling You that You Suck Sometimes (or All the Time!)

I talk a lot about the “voices in our heads” over on my YouTube channel, and sometimes I think I sound like a crazy person, but then I remember—Ohh riiiight, we’re all crazy people.

Because most internal human dialogue is pretty wacky ‘n weird. Even if it’s not anxiety-ridden or pain-producing, hell, it’s still fascinating to examine.

I’m staying at an AirBnB right now and I had to message my host to ask if she had “an extra large towel”, meaning “a second full-size towel”, but as soon as I hit SEND I realized she might think I’m asking for a hugely enormous XL towel because I worded it poorly, and what if she thinks I’m some kind of spoiled princess who only uses giant luxe towels? And will she then be annoyed by such a dumb request? Will she give me a bad review on AirBnB?? Couldn’t I just be satisfied with the one stupid towel she gave me?!

SPOILER ALERT: She brought over some extra towels and it wasn’t a big deal. Duh.

But the MIND. THE MIND IS STRANGE.

When I’m working with clients, and we’re knee-deep in some weird, winding, mind mucky-muck, and they’ve convinced themselves that they’re annoying, or that they suck on some level, or they’re lazy and unlovable, or jeez–they can’t stop comparing themselves to to their cousin Beatrice who just has all of her shit together, I have to remind them that these thoughts, that internal voice, those words and feelings and stories they hear inside are just that—stories.

And sure, they might be stories they’ve repeated to themselves so many times that they just don’t question them anymore, but that doesn’t make a story true. I could tell you the story of Rumpel-fuckin-Stiltsken every hour, on the hour for fifteen years, but that doesn’t make Rumpelstiltskin a real dude.

YOUR MIND IS JUST TELLING YOU A BUNCH OF INTERESTING AND SOMETIMES SHITTY STORIES.

The stuff we hear in our heads is like different channels playing on a TV set. Or records that can be put on or taken off a record player. Or movies being projected on a giant IMAX-sized screen in your highly creative, prone-to-worry, often anxious mind.

And I hear you when you proclaim, “But this voice in my head is really loud! This voice is really mean! This voice is the only voice I ever hear and it’s telling me awful things, and it has been for years!”

And I need you to think about it in this context: “Man, this TV channel really sucks! This channel plays all the time! It’s awful and scary and I hate the programming!”

Babe. Find the remote. Turn that shit off.

“I’ve tried! I lost the remote a long time ago! Or no one ever gave me a remote in the first place!”

Okay. Here’s what you can actively practice and commit to when your mind-channels are outta control and  need to be turned the fuck off. Or at least muted for a little while so you can relax for just like a minute.

 1) Label and call out the damn channel.

This is the most brilliant-est step one: Just notice what channel is playing.

It might feel like you have a lot of different noise going on up there, but there are usually only a few messages that continuously play out on repeat for each of us. Get clear and specific about what the message is.

Some painful but popular internal narratives/“mind channels” are:

  • You’re not good enough.
  • Your future is fucked.
  • Bad things are going to happen.
  • Bad things have already happened.
  • Everyone is thinking terrible things about you.

Ugh ugh ugh. Premium cable say what? THESE CHANNELS ARE AWFUL BASIC ACCESS THAT WE GOTTA STOP WATCHING.

When your mind begins spontaneously going over the details of what happened at yesterday’s meeting, and you’re remembering what you said, and the look that Beth gave Claire as you spoke, and you imagine how they went to the break room and laughed about you afterwards—PAUSE, NOTICE, AND LABEL IT.

“Ohhh – the ‘everyone is thinking terrible things about me’ channel is playing! We’ve watched this one before! This episode sucks!”

There is so much psychological research and evidence in support of the theory that simply labeling your internal experience (thoughts, feelings, etc…) helps to regulate and decrease the hold it has on you. I encourage you to test this theory out for yourself and have a little at-home experiment. Make some popcorn and tune into the mind-movie. Review it. Do you wanna keep watching? Decide.

2) Try giving your attention to literally ANYTHING ELSE.

If there’s a TV on at the restaurant you’re eating dinner at, does that mean that you have to watch it? Just because it’s on? Because it’s situated over your table, or in your line of sight?

Could you pay attention to your food? Could you pay attention to your friend eating dinner with you? Could you get out a book and start reading?

You do not have to keep your eyes glued to a TV set just because it’s on, and you do not have to keep your attention glued to your mind just because it’s telling you mean, terrible things. I would strongly advise you to turn your attention away from your mind when it is telling you mean, terrible things. There is no good information being delivered to you at that point.

If you really can’t change the channel, or can’t turn the TV off, distract yourself with anything else. Interrupt your mindless viewing and shift your attention elsewhere. Math problems. Counting the hairs on your left arm Noticing the variance in temperature between your two feet. Poetry. Prayer. Remembering every character from “Harry Potter” and what Hogwarts house he or she was in. The options are limitless. Practice shifting focus.

3) How about playing producer and introducing some brand new channels!

So listen, this metaphor only goes so deep. Because if there is an actual, physical TV implanted in the wall and it’s on at full volume all the time, unless you take a sledgehammer to that puppy it’s gonna stay there, stay on, and keep showing you whatever’s playing that afternoon.

But this is YOUR MIND we’re talking about. What plays in your mind is actually up to you. You run the network. And your mind is highly suggestible. You might not be used to suggesting new thoughts and content to your mind, but trust me, your mind is a malleable motherfucker. How do I know this?

If you were lying in bed in the midst of a painful, self-degrading meltdown and I walked into your room shrieking, “Justin Timberlake is down the street giving a free concert!!” you better believe your self-degrading meltdown would be put on pause.

If you are entrenched in worry and then happen to notice a $100 bill on the ground – BOOM – suddenly your worries aren’t the primary focus anymore. Get. That. Money.

If you’re over-wrought with anxiety and receive notice that there’s a stampede of miniature ponies trucking through your backyard, you’re gonna go to a window and check out the damn ponies.

The reality is that most of us never suggest new, creative, enticing alternatives to our minds. We’ve bought into this idea that MY MIND IS MY MIND AND IT SAYS WHAT IT SAYS AND I MUST LISTEN TO IT AND I AM ZOMBIE MUST FOLLOW MIIIIND…

I call bullshit! Play with your mind!

Imagine situations that would or could jog you out of your meltdowns and worries (I suggest making them extreme, enticing, and/or hilarious), and call upon them whenever you can. Get creative. Use your imagination. Thinking about stampedes of miniature ponies is much more useful and enjoyable than thinking about how you should’ve chosen a different major in college, trust me.

Above all else, know this:

You are not alone. You are so far from alone. I know what it’s like to feel like you and your mind are at war. That you can’t turn off the mean-bad-bad thoughts, that you’ll never be able to change the damn channel that feels like it’s been on for an eternity.

And I promise you, I PROMISE YOU, it can be different. It can get so much better. Those thoughts and stories and feelings can (and want to) loosen their grip on you. You don’t have to tune into shitty programming whether it’s on VH1, Lifetime, or inside your own brilliant head.

Check the metaphorical couch cushions. Find some version of a mental remote control. Get a little more selective about what you’re watching, call it out, shift your focus, and introduce some new programming. The more you do it, the easier it gets. And the easier it gets, the more you’ll want to do it. So go. Start practicing. NOW!

21 Comments
  • JENNIFER SCHMELING
    Posted at 01:40h, 26 January Reply

    THIS SPOKE RIGHT TO MY SOUL! THANK YOU FOR THE TOOLS!

    • Amy
      Posted at 05:41h, 26 January Reply

      Wuhoo! You’re SO welcome! 🙂

  • cagla cetin
    Posted at 02:02h, 26 January Reply

    Thank you Amy, i read twice and i was nearly crying. i know the step one. exactly i know the channels (so many channel altogether), i tried to distract myself reading Nietzsche. But i came a point where i could do nothing and started ‘all day laying’. But i will try again, step two and three. Maybe i will not be super confident but i will be better..to live in a cruel world. Thank you <3

    • Amy
      Posted at 05:41h, 26 January Reply

      Keep working at it, beautiful. It can take time, but then sometimes something just clicks. Thank you for reading.

  • Patricia I.
    Posted at 02:09h, 26 January Reply

    Amy, Amt, Amy… I cannot stress enough how helpful you are, not leaaaast to say with the word choice and explanations in this post. I too suffer from time to time from anxiety and depression, even now while I’m on study leave, but this was just God sent. Seriously, I’ve read articles, forums abs books before about all kinds of stuff, but this hit me right in the mind and heart. I no longer feel crazy! And alone! And I really want to thank you for this and wish to inspire you to spill your guts out with more of this you! ❤ Lots of love and best wishes/Paty

    • Amy
      Posted at 05:40h, 26 January Reply

      You are neither crazy nor alone! Sending you lots of love back. So thrilled you found this helpful. HUGS.

  • Jade K.
    Posted at 02:13h, 26 January Reply

    Thank you so much for this post! I recently realized that I tend to over analyze even the simplest of things and assume the worst, which is really unhealthy because it brings me down so much.

    After reading this post, I tried focusing on something else/tuning to “another channel” and it has helped so so much.

    Please keep the awesome blog posts coming xx

    • Amy
      Posted at 05:39h, 26 January Reply

      I’m so happy this helped! It’s good to have a handful of tools to turn to when we get caught in over-thinking/anxious mode. <3

  • Cortney Lamb
    Posted at 02:30h, 26 January Reply

    Guuuuurl… My love runs DEEP after this post! I am the Mayor of Overanalyze-ville and it sucks balls. After seven months it’s “does he like me still?” “are we still exclusive?” “Why won’t he DTR?” “Am I ugly?!”
    For real… I need to throw out the whole fucking TV!!

    • Amy
      Posted at 05:20h, 26 January Reply

      COURTNEY. “I need to throw out the whole fucking TV!!” I DIED. Ha!

      And I feel you girl! Tune that junk out. It will never help! Analysis is great but over-analysis is misery. Sending you love. Adoring your awareness and humor.

  • Paige @ Healthy Hits the Spot
    Posted at 05:06h, 26 January Reply

    AMEZ. This is such a great post! I love your metaphors. You’re the best at them! I love how you related this to watching TV and changing channels! SO HELPFUL. Love you!

    • Amy
      Posted at 05:24h, 26 January Reply

      Paaaige thank you beautiful. Love you MORE!

  • Elisabeth
    Posted at 07:07h, 26 January Reply

    Loved the TV channel comparison! You truly have a gift of speaking straight into the soul. Thank you for making us all feel a bit more human and sane today.

  • Brad
    Posted at 08:57h, 26 January Reply

    Even though you gear your brand toward women, I love your content and feel it always applies across gender lines. Everything in this blog post speaks true, especially to someone like me who is blessed with social anxiety issues.

  • Jenny
    Posted at 09:28h, 26 January Reply

    Fantastic advice. You’re brilliant. I’m reading about mindfulness at the moment and this ties in with it. Thank you. I over analyze to the max.

  • Pat Sykora
    Posted at 18:35h, 26 January Reply

    you inspire me….love ya!

  • Arushi Jain
    Posted at 17:09h, 30 January Reply

    You’ve literally made me really positive in life!…..everything you say just so clicks in my head❤Keep inspiring us all. Much love💋.

  • Laura Sanz
    Posted at 18:16h, 07 February Reply

    Amy, thank you very much for this post. Recently I’ve been going through a hard time because of this and I can tell you that you made it so much easier for me to understand that I can change that. God bless you and I hope you keep inspiring others to change their point of view about our minds. I read you from Colombia 🇨🇴

  • Celeste Griego
    Posted at 22:13h, 28 March Reply

    You are so amazing and have the best advice! I couldn’t have found you at a better point in my life! Just wish it would have been sooner!:)

  • Dhaara Antani
    Posted at 07:22h, 29 May Reply

    Please keep doing what you do! You are such an inspiration to me in all areas of my life, be it romantic relationships, self worth, or mental wellness (I would be interested to see more things like this post!).

    • Amy
      Posted at 23:27h, 21 September Reply

      Thank you so much, Dhaara! I love knowing that my posts and videos are helpful and appreciated. I’d love to create more posts like this for you. 🙂

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